Sucks..........For You!

A buddy of mine once told me that women shouldn't be able to have drivers licenses 'cause "there aren't any roads between the kitchen and the bedroom."

It's funny 'cause it's true.

I really want to end the post right here, but I already posted the picture up and am too lazy to change it. This picture shows what happens when you let your girlfriend play Zoo Keeper everyday for seven months. Your DS turns to shit and your balls turn dark blue.

And I'm out.

DS Now Counts Each Step You Take. Sting Slighted.

Hudson Soft is releasing something called Tekuteku Angel Pocket Pedometer that not only counts your footsteps but also allows you to sync it with your DS and view other caloric info and health data. On sale in Japan December 21st for about $44.

$44 is kinda cheap considering that you don't have to count each footstep you take anymore. I usually lose track at about 10 when I run out of fingers and then I say outloud to myself, "This is lame." At that point the next person within hearing distance usually asks, "Excuse me, did you just call me 'lame'?" To which I respond by running away with my fingers pointing madly.

It's great that companies are exploring the possibilities with the DS and making new uses of the gadget, but seriously, a pedometer?

New Releases! Not Close!

Nintendo America announces a few release dates for upcoming DS games:

January 25th - Hotel Dusk: Room 215 (developed by CING)
February 5th - Diddy Kong® Racing DS (developed by Rare Ltd.)
March 5th - Wario: Master of Disguise (developed by Suzak, formerly known as 'Kaitou Wario')
March 19th - Custom Robo Arena (developed by Noise)
Source

In other news, Your Mom wants to remind you to be safe when playing with your new Wiis and not do any of this crazy ass shit.

DS Tip!

A good way to keep your WFC friend codes together and up to date is with Google Spreadsheets.

With you and your friends as collaborators, updates are instantaneous and always available online. There is even a chat box on the right hand side when you and your friends are logged on. All you need is a Gmail account.

Google Spreadsheets

First Look at DS/Wii Intergration. Verdict: Semi

In a "not quite bonerific" way, Pokemon Battle Revolution is the first game that utilizes DS/Wii integration as reported by Siliconera and GAF:

"Pokemon Battle Revolution is the first game to use the DS as a controller, have online play and use data from DS game. All of those hours spent leveling up the hard earned Manaphy in Pokemon Diamond or Pearl aren’t going to be wasted because you can import the rare water Pokemon or any other ones you trained into the Pokemon Battle Revolution. This isn’t the first Pokemon console game to support this, actually I believe all of them do, but it’s a cool feature that I hope more games take advantage of in the future." (Source)

"...you'll also be able to use the touch screen to control the battles if you so choose...The game should be out in Japan on December 14. It'll be the first Wii title to feature online play. A North American release has not yet been announced." (Source)

I really hope this is just a starting point, 'cause the mere thought of the possibilities of DS/Wii integration makes me pee a little.

More pictures of PBR at GAF.

NIntedo MP3 Player Heads for Europe

"Nintedo has officially announced that it's MP3 player will head to Europe on December 8th," reports gonintendo.com.

The player is priced at 29 Euros, comes equipped with a 512 mb SD card, (reader not included and supports up to 2 GB) and because it uses Slot 2, is said to be compatible with GBA, GBASP, and Micro.

Those of you with Supercards probably are aware of homebrew programs out there like Moonshell that already play popular media files like NSF, MP3, SPC, GSM, MOD, S3M, IT, XM, MTM, OGG, DPG, JPEG, BMP, PNG, GIF, text files on your DS.

While YourMom doesn't support any homebrew programs out there, we'd also like it if they stopped adding MP3 functionality to anything electronic, like this piece of shit.

Here are some more pictures of the MP3 player:

Nintendo to Stick Nuts on Sony's Chin, Come December

"...and take dump on chest," says me.

Nintendo has seriously ramped up production and is distributing a sick 1.5 million DS Lite units in Japan for December.

But according to GameScience:

"...the record-breaking DS situation in Japan proved the limits of Nintendo’s production capacity in a given period, and even 1 Million units for Japan may not be enough compared to speculation of a comfortable 2 Million units in North America." (Source)

"Just last month, Nintendo raised their DS sales target by 18 percent to 20 million units for the year to March." (DS Fanboy)

This is a big news for smokers 'cause if everyone on this planet had Pictochat, do we really need those silly voiceboxes?

New Roms! Final Fantasy III!

0684 Asterix And Obelix XXL 2: Mission Wifix
0683 Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Legend
0682 Tamagotchi Connection Corner Shop 2
0681 Final Fantasy III (USA)

Right now is a good time to make sure your insurance covers carpal tunnel 'cause Final Fantasy III is sure to break both your hand and your "a" button.

Check out screenshots of the new FFIII at gamespot here.

Source

Bright Eyes Fans Rejoice!

In an age where our cars can park themselves, cats use our toilets and our $1200 Fender Teles remain in our closests, we can brush up on our guitar skills before the big open mic night at the local coffee shop with Guitar Hero's retarded cousin, Hiite Utaeru DS Guitar M-06. Using the touch screen to strum and the directional pad to change chords, you will be sure to look like a complete douchebag when you try to bring this thing onstage.

You can catch a video of it in action here.

Due for release in Japan this December, there is still no word on US pricing.

UPDATE: Seriously, someone needs to get this, Guitar Hero and Donkey Kong's Jungle Beats and form a Postal Service cover band, like, now.

Elite Beat Agent Makes You Feel Bad

The game consists of clicking circles, spinning wheels and tracing beach balls with your stylus to the beats of various pop songs in a DDR sort of way. The twist is your role as a MIB type crew that must hit the block rockin' beats on time to save various people from strife, like helping a jock score with his high school girlfriend, as the first mission entails....

As if your life wasn't sad and lonely enough, here's a game that punches you in the face with the fact that jocks are scoring with high school chicks while you sit home alone playing your DS.

Below is the crappy song list:

1. Walkie Talkie Man - Steriogram

2. ABC - Jackson Five

3. Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne

4. I Was Born to Love You - Queen

5. Rock This Town - Stray Cats

6. Highway Star - Deep Purple

7. Y.M.C.A. - Village People

8. September - Earth, Wind and Fire

9. Canned Heat - Jamiroquai

10. Material Girl - Madonna

11. La La - Ashlee Simpson

12. You’re the Inspiration - Chicago

13. Survivor - Destiny’s Child

14. Without a Fight - Hoobastank

15. Believe - Cher

16. Let’s Dance - David Bowie

17. Jumpin Jack Flash - Rolling Stones

18. Makes No Difference - Sum 41

19. The Anthem - Good Charlotte

New roms!

Dualscene.net has reported that new roms have just been released!

0680 Puzzle Series Vol. 7: Crossword 2
0679 Puzzle Series Vol. 6: Illust Logic
0678 Puzzle Series Vol. 5: Slither Link
0677 Magic Taizen
0676 Akumajou Dracula: Gallery of Labyrinth (Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin)
0675 Winx Club: The Quest for the Codex
0674 Superman Returns

According to dsfanboy:

"Nintendo announced Magic Taizen, yet another unique title in a line-up of incredibly creative games on the DS system. Tenyo, a distributor in Japan for magic tricks, was recruited by Nintendo to create the game. In the game, you'll be learning magic tricks, as well as performing them, through the DS. No longer will you have to carry around that live dove in your pants all day and can, instead, become a master magician like one Gob Bluth without the risk of bodily harm."

While I doubt any of us will become David Blaines and have the courage to bang Fiona Apple without crawling into the sheets and weeping like a little girl afterwards, we can at least scare the elderly with our crafty "Devil Machines". Speaking of David Blaine....video (WARNING NSFW)

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